A Place in the Darkness
by Oyuki
Summary: After 5 yrs in prison for something she didn't do, Hilde is found innocent. How will she handle being reunited with the people that betrayed her? Her 'friends? Her 'lover? 2xH. First 3 chapters revised. kinda dark.
1. Default Chapter

AN & Disclaimer: They are not mine! None of them! Okay so this is based on another story from another author I think it's P_M's Innocence Lost, Blackness Ensuest. It just goes on a different direction then that author's. P_M hasn't finished the story and there is nothing I dislike more than that, so I decided to twist her reality a little and create my own little story.   
WARNINGS: Mature themes, slight language. It's my first real serious fic and let me just say that it will lack my usual sap and fluffiness. Okay all you have to know about the original story is that Hilde was accused of attacking Relena. Please review.  
  
  
A Place in the Darkness  
by Oyuki  
  
  
  
Hilde shifted uncomfortably in her narrow cot. The dampness and cold seeped through her skin and she shivered slightly. She opened her eyes only to see darkness, it was so dark. Her senses hadn't fully awakened from sleep, she was bewildered as to were she was at the moment. Then she remembered, it was the same place she had been for the last five years. Hilde shivered again, it'd be so long and she still had not used to the freezing cold in this place.   
  
The cold still got to her. It didn't help that the cell door was facing the open courtyard. the scheduled rain didn't' help either, it just added more dampness to the stinking hole she'd been forced to reside in for such a long time. If Moira, the only other female in the place, didn't tell her often how long she'd been here she would never know. The days blended together, neither day or night existed for them. It was limbo.  
  
She heard footsteps on the metal stairway that led to her cell. Hilde shivered involuntarily, but not out of cold this time. Fear sent shivers up and down her spine. She willed that fear to disappear. She shut her eyes tightly, almost praying that the heavy footsteps hadn't stopped at her cell door. Yet she knew differently. She should be used to it by now, though, but she couldn't help feeling the old fear seeping through her strong demeanor.  
  
The guards had been coming to her cell almost everyday for the last two years. They all wanted the same thing. It was degrading. At first she'd tried fighting them off, screaming for help or anything to keep their hands off of her. It hadn't helped. And now she'd lost the will to pray for her escape from the maximum security penal colony.   
  
Hilde cringed when she heard the cell door slide open and the booted feet step inside.  
  
"Here we are again tonight, sweetheart," a cold voice said to her in the darkness.  
  
@--------------@  
  
  
"I can't believe it's been five years," said Duo while arranging presents underneath the tall Christmas tree. He couldn't help but think of Hilde even more during this time of the year. She had been arrested a few days before Christmas Eve five years ago.   
  
He thought o f her often, but this time of the year made him think of her much more. He had been shocked at what she had done, and without a second thought judged her. Judged and condemned her when he had no right to. He'd rushed to conclusions head first only to be attacked by guilt and shame a few months later, but by then it was too late.  
  
**flashback**  
  
  
  
The first thing Duo saw was blood. Everything was covered in blood. He then noticed the two figures lying on the floor. Hilde and Relena. The blood was also covering Hilde and Relena. He didn't know which one to go to first. In the end he did the only thing he could think of: he called Heero. That was his first mistake. Heero arrived no less then five minutes later. He assessed the situation as Duo called the ambulances.   
  
Heero noticed something Duo had failed to, the knife in Hilde's hand. That sent him over the edge, and if Duo had not arrived when he did, he would have killed the unconscious Hilde. He had picked her up from the floor and proceeded to rearrange her face.   
  
"Heero, Heero stop! Stop it!" Duo yelled as he ran to Heero. He grabbed Heero's shoulders and tried to pull him off of Hilde but he was in a rage. He would not stop. Duo began to panic. Neither of them knew what had happened, how could Heero be doing this.   
  
"Stop it, Heero! Stop!" Duo finally managed to separate Heero from Hilde. When Heero let her go she fell to the floor in a heap, still unconscious.   
  
"What the hell did you think you were doing, Heero? We don't know what happened, why are you doing this?"  
  
"Did you see the knife in her hand? She had a bloody knife in her-- Oh my God, Relena!" he said as he rushed to her side. They both kneeled to see how she was. Her white shirt was completely covered in blood. Heero inspected her carefully and found she'd been stabbed numerous times. This and the knife in Hilde's hand made her guilty in his eyes and would soon make her guilty in Duo's eyes as well.   
  
"Duo she had a knife in her hand, it was covered in blood..." said Heero in a quiet, but clear, voice.   
  
"No... you don't mean--" he started only to be interrupted by his friend.  
  
"Yes Duo! She did it," he said just as the ambulance and the paramedics arrived.  
  
"Duo arrest her, you're a Preventor, you have that authority. I don't want to get near her, I might not have enough self control to keep myself from hurting her. Arrest her!"  
  
With a heavy sigh Duo waited for the paramedics to check Hilde out...  
  
*end flashback*  
  
The rest was a blur. He didn't really remember what'd happened the next few days. All he knew was that she'd been taken to a local jail and she'd awakened there. He hadn't seen her since the trial, which had taken place a few days later.   
  
There she had been sentence to life in prison for the attempted murder of Relena Peacecraft, whom had been unable to testify since she was in a coma. Duo had looked at Hilde with something akin to hatred in his eyes. She hadn't broken down once since she'd woken up in jail. She hadn't had a lawyer to represent her leaving her to try to defend herself. She'd looked pleadingly at him in the courtroom while he was sitting in the witness stand. Her eyes asking for help and compassion from him. Both of which he'd refused to give. When she'd been given her sentence tears slowly came to her eyes. They formed one perfect path on each cheek as they fell.   
  
He had felt that it was the right punishment. He had felt so much resentment towards her for so long. He didn't know when that hatred turned into bitterness, and finally into guilt. He'd felt so bad months later when Sally had told him what Hilde'd said when she was told of the crime.   
  
*flashback*  
  
"So you did talk to her?" he asked Sally one day at the Preventor building's cafeteria. They were waiting for Heero to come back. Relena had woken up from her coma after almost three months.   
  
"Yes, I talked to her. I was the one to tell her about what she had been accused of. She, of course, denied the whole thing. Said she didn't do it, and that she didn't remember what'd happened. That really pissed me off Duo! I mean I ran the blood tests on her blood! She was high!" she said indignantly.  
  
"Is that all she said?" he asked a little more interested in what Sally was saying. The severe hatred he'd felt had turned to bitterness. He constantly asked himself how could he have trusted her? Why would she do that?  
  
"No, then I told her that no lawyer wanted to represent her in the trial, and do you want to know what she said?" asked Sally bitterly.  
  
Duo frowned and asked, "Yeah, what?"  
  
"Well, to tell you the truth, I didn't really hear what she said next because she whispered. But it was something like, 'It doesn't matter, the only one that mattered doesn't believe in me.' And then I patched up a few scratches and bruises that she had and left her alone," Sally finished. Getting up from the table she said goodbye and walked out of the cafeteria.  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Duo shook his head and stood up. It did no good to think about that now. It had been a long time ago, and there was nothing he could do now. He walked to the closet and reached up on the high shelf for a few more presents. Christmas was two days away and it was his turn to host a party in his house. As he reached the presents an big manila envelope fell to the floor. Duo frowned for a second before leaving the presents where they were and reaching down to pick up the envelope. He straightened and opened the envelope. Inside there were pictures of him and Hilde that he had never seen. There was also a video, which was addressed to him. It read his name. Duo looked at the pictures noticing that they had been taken five years ago. There were some of Hilde by herself and some were of both of then together. When he looked at the back he noticed the unfamiliar handwriting in which the dates had been written. He reached inside for the video and his hand was cut by something. "Probably a piece of paper," he muttered.   
  
He again reached inside the envelope to retrieve the paper. Duo unfolded the letter, and the first thing he noticed was that it was the same as the one on the back of the pictures. He began to read:  
  
"Duo Maxwell:  
  
This is the most interesting thing I've ever seen. I never thought that my little ploy to frame your girlfriend would work. It was fun to watch the way of you acted when you thought she had betrayed you, and watching the way all of her friends turn her back on her.   
  
"We watched you two for weeks till we found an opportunity to put our plan into action. We had been planning this for a very long time. We just had to find the opportunity and the right person to sacrifice. The person who would be least likely to commit the crime, but at the same time everybody would blame.   
  
"It was so easy! All we had to do was give her a drug that would put her to sleep so it would look as if she had taken a dose of a common narcotic. It was a plus that she didn't remember what had happened. All of you were so easy to fool, and now look at what has happened. You have all forgotten about her, what she was to you... or have you? Have all of you moved on with your lives? Do you still think about her, about what she'd doing at this very moment?  
  
"We tire of this situation. It is not fun anymore, you did not even pursue this case long enough to figure out it wasn't her who attacked Relena Peacecraft. For this reason we have left you a little present. Some pictures of you and her, and, of course, the security tape that did not spend enough time looking for.   
  
"Hope that this little bit of information doesn't ruin our Christmas. We also hope that we hear from you soon!"  
  
Duo finished reading the letter. His hands tightened on the paper and his knuckles went white. His eyes were closed tightly. 'How could I have been so stupid? How could I have accused the woman I loved of trying to kill her best friend?' he berated himself. He quickly pulled himself together and went into the living room area. He put the video in the VCR and sat down on the couch, anxious to watch what he desperately hoped was true.   
  
There were a few seconds of static and then the video came one. It was obviously a copy of the original because it was only the scene which he was interested in seeing. Relena and Hilde came into the room with cups of coffee, he guessed. They were sitting in the living room of the house he and Hilde used to live in, the one he'd sold when Hilde was arrested. They were talking, they talked for about five minutes when the door opened slowly and three figures came into the room. The figures were dressed all in black and had ski masks to cover their faces. They must have shouted something because Hilde and Relena both looked at them.   
  
One figure, a man, launched at Hilde who still had some of her soldier instincts. He held her and Duo saw him take out a seringe (sp?) and put its contents into Hilde's arm. Almost immediately Hilde fell to the floor unconscious. Another man had launched at Relena, who had no way of defending herself. Duo shut his eyes and turned away at the sight of Relena being stabbed numerous times by the man. The last figure just watched the men do their jobs. Duo could tell she was a woman. She turned and looked directly at the camera, obviously knowing exactly where it was. She came closer and pulled at the cords in the back. There was a strange gleam in her eyes, almost as if she was enjoying this.   
  
Duo could take no more. He broke down in tears. In reality, they hadn't really looked for the security tape. The evidence they had was very incriminating. There was no use for it. Duo's heart dropped to his stomach. He didn't believe how wrong they had all been. They had accused Hilde and she hadn't done anything! Nothing but be a friend to Relena and try to protect her.   
  
He had to get her out of prison! He had to now that he knew the truth. He had to call Relena, Quatre, Trowa... and... and Heero. Especially Heero who'd wanted to kill Hilde the minute he saw her. He took deep breaths to calm himself. They would all be here sooner or later, they were all on their way to his house. All he had to do was be patient, Heero and Relena would be arriving any minute now. He wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands and heard the doorbell ring.   
  
He rushed to the door and opened it. Heero and Relena stood there. Heero with his always serious expression and Relena with her ever-present smile, but she immediately noticed his expression. "What's wrong, Duo?" she asked.   
  
He breathed hard and looked from her to his friend Heero.   
  
"What's wrong?" asked Heero to. It had been a long time since he had seen his friend this agitated.   
  
Duo struggled with his words and he finally said, "Come in, there's something I have to show you." He walked to the living room and picked up the letter that was lying on the couch. He handed it to Heero. Duo then looked at the TV screen, which was snowing again, and rewinded the tape. It only took a few seconds for Heero to finish reading the strange letter and for Duo to finish rewinding the tape.   
  
"Where did you get this? When?" Heero asked whose lips had thinned into a tight line and whose eyes had narrowed.  
  
"It was strange, it was in my closet where I kept the rest of the presents. I was getting them from the top shelf and a manila envelope fell. I didn't remember putting it there so I picked it up and opened it. There were a whole bunch of pictures of Hilde and me. Some together and some of them by ourselves, it looks as if they were taken when we were out or at our friends houses. They are all dated five years ago," Duo explained as he handed the photos to Heero and Relena, who had been looking over her boyfriend's shoulder.   
  
She looked at the letter and at the pictures. Somewhere in the back of her mind she'd known that Hilde, her best friend, would never do something like that. The feeling hadn't been enough convince her that Hilde hadn't done it, but she had always doubted it. She'd felt sorry for Hilde when she had woken from her coma and found out about her. She felt even worse for not being able to do anything to help her. And now this... this made her feel like the worst person in the world. Oh God, she couldn't imagine how Duo was feeling at the moment!  
  
Heero hadn't said anything else, he was too confused. Why would these people do this? He may be able to understand why they tried to kill Relena, but why blame poor Hilde? She had nothing to do with Relena besides being her friend.  
  
"We have to get her out of there," said Duo. He looked at Heero intensely. He wished the earth would open up and swallow him whole. "Heero? Did you hear me? I said--"  
  
"I heard you. We... we have to look more into this, Duo. We can't just go and get her out of prison because of some letter," Heero explained.   
  
"There's more; they sent me a video. I've already watched it. The video is the evidence we need to get her out of prison," Duo said as he instructed them to sit down.   
  
He sat down next to Heero and pressed the PLAY button on the remote control. The video came on much like it had for Duo. Heero began to feel something in the pit of his stomach, it wasn't nausea. The feeling began to move up until it pulled at his heart. It was almost a physical pain, he had to turn away from the television.   
  
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he said, "Let's call the others, tell them to cancel their trips and brief them in on the situation. We'll go to Lady Une and show her this. Well go to the penal colony as soon as possible."  
"Yes," his friend agreed. "Let's just hope nothing has happened to Hilde, and that she can forgive us."  
  
*******  
  
A few days later Duo, Heero, and Sally were on their way to Penal Colony X-94518. Relena had wanted to come but Heero had objected saying she had too many peace treaties to sign and other matters to take care of.   
  
It had been a shock for all of their friends. The rest of Earth and the colonies probably knew already. This kind of information spreads fast, and it wasn't really top-secret. Five years ago it had been the most controversial case in years. Hilde's release would also cause controversy. That's is why they had to keep this 'trip' a secret.   
  
Duo and Heero had been the ones chosen to go, and Sally was coming along in case medical help was needed or in case Hilde needed female companionship. Duo was restless, they were almos there and he couldn't wait to see Hilde. He knew that their relationship would not be the same, that Hilde would not be the same but he couldn't help the twinge of excitement and hope that surged through him at the thought of seeing her after all of these years and being one hundred percent sure that she was innocent of the horrible crime she'd been accused of. He paced, he ranted, he didn't sit still until the docking area was in sight. "Hilde, I hope you can forgive me," he whispered to himself.   
  
When the three arrived at the main facility they were greeted by the news that there was a horrible deadly infection among the inmates. Many of them had died and many of them were sick. The worse part was that it was very contagious, and the infected person wouldn't know if he or she had it until it was too late, and there were too many inmates to run tests on. The doctors knew that, if caught early enough, the infection could be cured, and it was only contagious in its last stages. There were so many of the inmates that had died were so great in number that they had stopped keeping track of their names.  
  
So now Duo, Heero and Sally had to wait hours for the guards to look for Hilde. They didn't know if she had died, and there was a fifty percent chance that she had not because there were only two women in the whole facility and so far only one had died. After four hours of waiting the guards found prisoner 458972. They did not know if it was Hilde but they let Duo go into the visiting area, which was a small room divided into two by a bullet-proof glass and a counter-looking thing, and one chair on either side.   
  
Duo waited about five minutes until he heard the whoosh of the doors on the other side of the glass. Two guards flanked a figure wrapped in a wet blanket. The blanket covered her head so he could not see her. When she was finally inside she took the blanket off her head. Duo sucked in his breath. He took in the pale, thin face, the sunken eyes, and the thin, blue-tinged lips. "Oh my God," he whispered. The sinking feeling in his stomach came back. His heart beat faster and his heart lurched in his chest. If he had not been sitting down he would have fallen. This could not be Hilde! Hilde was thin, but not to the point of being anorexic looking, she was pale but not sickly pale.   
  
Hilde could not believe her eyes. He was here, oh God he was here! 'Why? Why is he here?' her mind asked. All she could think of was that he was here for something bad. He had to be here for something bad because she had never been visited in the five years that she'd been in the prison. All she could do was sit on the chair and try to hold the tears she hadn't shed in years fall onto her cheeks.  
  
'She's just staring at me,' he thought to himself. "Hilde," he said out loud. She was shaking, he could see it. Her lips were trembling. "Hilde, I'm here to get you out of here," Duo told her in a low voice.  
  
Hilde's world went back. She fell out of her chair and to the floor in a boneless heap. Duo stood up from his chair so fast that his chair fell back. He pressed his palms against the glass and yelled her name. The guards were already picking her up and taking her to the infirmary.   
  
Duo went back to the waiting are where he met with Heero and Sally. "What happened?" asked Heero when he saw Duo's face.  
  
"She... she just collapsed. I think she fainted when she saw me," he answered and turned to Sally. "You're a doctor, they'll let you go in and see her."  
  
She looked skeptical but nodded and left to talk to one of the guards. When she was gone Heero began asking Duo questions about Hilde.  
  
"She was so pale, Heero. Almost transparent, and her eyes! They had dark circles under them and they looked too big. They don't shine the way they use to, Heero, and she's so thin. She looks ill, like one of those terminal patients you see on TV. I couldn't believe it was her. Oh God, and you should've seen the way she looked at me; like I was some king of monster! She was scared of me," Duo said hoarsely. He was almost in tears and Heero didn't know what to do. He wasn't the best person in the emotional department.   
  
All he could do was put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Don't worry, she's gonna be okay, and then we're going to take her home."   
  
****  
  
Inside the infirmary the nurses had put Hilde in a room where they kept the cases that needed to be studied. They were not sure it if was the infection, so they had to get her away from the inmates who were infected. They had taken blood samples and they were now checking her blood pressure. It was high and she had a fever. Her breathing was labored.  
  
"Get oxygen for her, I fear it is the infection but not a severe case. We can still save her," said the doctor, Ayan Rayo.   
  
Sally came in to door with scrubs and a mask. "I'm Dr. Po, Preventor Wind. I'm here with Duo Maxwell and--"  
  
"I know who you are. You're here to tend to her?" Ayan asked pointing to Hilde.  
  
"Yes, I want to know her condition," replied Sally in a very professional voice. "We are also here to take her home. Her innocence has been proven."  
  
"We do not know yet, we have just now taken blood samples and given her oxygen, her breathing is labored and her temperature is rising," explained the young doctor. She had treated Hilde a few times before for things other than illnesses. Hilde was a nice girl who had almost lost her will to live. Being put in this place at such a young age, 17, was devastating and being betrayed by the people you loved was even worse. Hilde had never discussed if she was innocent or not, but the doctor had a feeling that she was. She was too innocent when she arrived to be a hardened criminal.   
  
"You have seen this infection, do you think she has it?"  
  
"A few of her symptoms are the same, such as the fever and the fainting, but we won't know for sure until we get the results back-- oh and here comes the nurse with them now." Ayan took the folder from her and skimmed through them before handing them to Sally.   
  
Sally gave a sigh of relief when she read the results. Hilde wasn't going to die, she just had severe anemia. "I will be right back, I am going to inform my companions," she said and waited for the doctor to nod.  
  
Sally walked to the waiting area to tell Duo the good news. She had not had time to think of all this. For five years she'd thought poor Hilde was a cold-blooded almost killer, but she wasn't. 'I must be feeling just as bad as the others are. We all pretty much had her sentenced without considering what kind of person she was. She was a good person, she had never done anything wrong, anything to hurt anybody. Whoever was after Relena had known that everybody would blame Hilde despite her good nature,' Sally thought.  
  
When Duo saw Sally approach he stood up quickly and met her half way. "How is she?" he asked anxiously.  
  
Sally put her hand on her shoulder and said, "She'll be okay, she just has anemia. It looks like she hadn't had any blood tests since she arrived here, and these conditions and the lack of nutritious food have taken a toll on her body. An organism can only last for so long..." she trailed off but regained her train of thought to say, "she'll be okay. She will have to stay here for a few more days though, unless I can get a clearance saying that we have adequate care for her in the shuttle."  
  
"Get it, the sooner we get her out of here the better care she'll have," said Heero for the first time. He had to get out of this colony, it depressed him. He had not seen Hilde but the way Duo described her made him feel even more guilty. He wanted her to be somewhere comfortable where she could get on with her life... as if none of this had ever happened. 'Who are you trying to fool Yuy? She will not pretend this never happened, she went through five years of who knows what kind of treatment and you want her to just forget it? It's not going to happen.'  
  
"Okay guys, I'm going to get the paper work going and we should be out of here in a couple of hours.  
  
  
tbc...  
  
AN: Okay I was planning on posting this when I finished it, but at the rate it's going it will be a kinda long story. Maybe next chapter I post will be really long like this one and it will contain the end. REVIEW!!!! Oh and sorry for the grammar mistakes, I only spell checked I didn't proof read. 


	2. Default Chapter

AN & Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even the idea for this story!!! Okay so here is the next chapter. WARNINGS: slight language, out of characer, and slight AU! You've been warned.  
  
  
  
Three hours later they were on their way to Earth with Hilde on one of the four beds. It would be a long trip, so Dr. Rayo had thought it would be much better if Hilde slept most of the way there. It would surprise her a great deal to know that she was on Earth, but it was better that way.  
  
Hilde felt warm, warm and comfortable. She had a soft bed and soft sheets to cover her. 'Must be one of my better dreams,' she thought. She stretched and opened her eyes to a strange ceiling. It was metal and had strange lights she had never seen. She raised her right hand to rub her eyes but she noticed there was a needle stuck to her hand with tape. She followed the tube that was attached to the needle on her hand only to find that it was attached to a bag of blood, the kinds that the nurses put your blood in when you donate.  
  
Hilde blinked her eyes a few more times until her vision was a little more clear. She still felt drowsy and she knew that if she closed her eyes she could fall asleep. Maybe if she fell asleep again, when she woke up she would be in her cell again. Yes, this must be a dream, a very real dream. Maybe all the time in the prison had finally gotten to her, she'd finally snapped and she'd been placed in the mental facility of the colony.   
  
When Hilde was about to fall asleep again she saw an all too familiar face. She tried to open her eyes, to blink them into clearness but sleep refused to let her go. It had her in its grasp and would not give up until it claimed her again. As much as she wanted to find out why the face had appeared in front of her she could not fight the pull of dreams. She closed her eyes and promptly fell asleep again.   
  
"Is she still asleep, Duo?" asked Sally from the bed across from Hilde's. They took turns sleeping, piloting the shuttle, and watching Hilde because Dr. Rayo had told them that sometimes Hilde had nightmares. It had taken some convincing from Sally and Heero to make Duo sleep for a couple of hours since he didn't want to leave Hilde alone. Sally had explained that it would serve no purpose for him to stay with her for a long period of time since she was asleep, but Duo insisted. Now it was time for Sally to watch Hilde and for Duo to sleep.   
  
"She opened her eyes for a second and looked at me, but she fell back asleep," he answered.  
  
"It's the medication and the fever. Her temperature finally went down but when we reach earth she may need to be admitted into a hospital. Her anemia could become even more serious than it is now, though I think it can be controlled."  
  
For a strange reason, Heero had not wanted to watch over Hilde while she slept. Sally thought it was because he'd had a death wish for Hilde. The man had wanted to kill her himself. Sally would bet anything that Heero had wished Hilde had been given the death penalty for trying to kill Relena. She hadn't though because she was only seventeen at the time. "Duo, go relieve Heero. He needs to sleep too and we still have a hours to go before we reach earth."  
  
Duo was ready to argue when he saw Sally's face; the face that said 'do it or else'. "Yeah, okay," was all he said.  
  
Duo walked to the cockpit and tapped Heero on the shoulder before saying, "Boss lady Sally told me to tell you to go get some sleep."  
  
"Fine," growled Heero. They both knew it was useless to argue with Sally. It wasn't surprising since she was the only one that could put up with Wufei. She even went as far as to agree to marry him! Heero shuddered and walked to where Sally was putting something into the needle that went into Hilde's hand. "What's that?" asked from behind her, making Sally jump in the process.  
  
"I need her to wake up for a little while. If I tell her what's going on before we reach Earth she'll have more time to get use to it. And I want to see if she can keep some food down. Her anemia is serious, we don't want it to get worse."  
  
"You have her medical records from the prison?"  
  
Sally frowned and asked, "Yes, why?"  
  
"I just want to know if she had been sick or something. Isn't it a little strange how they didn't run any tests on her? I mean she was there for five years, I'm sure she got sick sometime during all that time," he explained.  
  
"Actually, Hilde had been in the infirmary a few times, but it wasn't due to any illnesses," Sally said quietly. "I didn't want to tell Duo this but Hilde was raped, and it wasn't just once."  
  
Heero shook his head. He just know something like that would've happened. His face paled and he closed his eyes. He ran both his hands through his unruly chocolate brown hair and sighed. Hilde was probably going to need psychological help after this, how were they going to tell Duo? "He's going to find out sooner or later," he stated.  
  
"I know. I feel sorry for him. He went through such bad times when she was arrested, and he felt horrible a few months later. He used to tell me that he should have seen it coming. He used to ask himself how he could have trusted someone like Hilde; and now that she is free he feels like shit for testifying against her and having all of those bad thoughts about her."  
  
Heero was about to say something else but they both heard, rather than saw, Hilde stirring. She shook her head and tried to get out of the bed. Her breathing became shallow and the screen monitoring her heart showed that her heart rate and blood pressure were rising.  
  
"I think it's a nightmare," Sally said turning away from Heero. "Hilde," she said to the younger woman. "Hilde, wake up. Wake up!" she ordered.  
  
"No! No, no, no, no leave me alone! Don't ' touch me! Don't touch me!" screamed Hilde at the top of her lungs. She was thrashing wildly on the bed, her flailing arms almost hitting Sally, who was trying to keep her on the bed. The screaming and the moving just got worse when Sally tried to restrain Hilde. She fought even more to get away from the arms that held her. "Please, please let me go," Hilde said in a softer voice.  
  
"Hilde, nobody is going to hurt you. You're on a shuttle heading to Earth. Nobody is going to hurt you here. Hilde did you hear me?"  
  
Hilde stopped struggling and tried to calm her breath. She opened her eyes to see Sally looking down at her. She was on a strange bed with Sally looking at her. She sat up and took in everything she could about the place she was in. Sally still had her hands on her shoulders so Hilde shrugged them off. Physical contact was something that made her uncomfortable. She rubbed her eyes with one hand and asked, "Where am I?"  
  
"On a shuttle to Earth--"  
  
"Why?" she said before Sally finished talking.  
  
"You were found innocent--"  
  
"How? When?" she interrupted again.  
  
"Just let me finish telling you okay? Okay, somebody place a letter and a video in Duo's house. The letter wasn't signed and we don't know who send it, but the most important part was the video. It was the security tape from your old house. It was a copy of the original, but it contained what happened to you and Relena. That is how we found out you were innocent. We came to get you as soon as we could. Somebody framed you, Hilde," Sally finished and looked at her.  
  
Hilde didn't even bat an eyelash. 'Obviously somebody was trying to frame me, I may not remember what happened but I know I didn't do it. I didn't try to kill Relena,' Hilde thought. Out loud she said, "Where are we going?"  
  
"To Earth," Sally answered.  
  
"To Earth where? I don't have anywhere to stay."  
  
"We will all be staying in one of Relena's mansions. The people who did this are obviously going to strike again, and soon. We have to be alert, and in order to protect Relena, and you," she added quickly before saying, "we have to have you with us 24/7."  
  
"I don't want to stay with any of you! I want nothing to do with any of you!" Hilde replied harshly.  
  
"We are only trying to keep you safe Hilde."   
  
"No, you're just trying to keep Relena safe and trying to make yourselves feel better by keeping me there saying you're trying to protect me! In the prison, I learned that you can't trust everybody, and I don't trust you!" she said getting up from the bed. She got dizzy but it soon passed and she asked where the shower was.   
  
"They bathed you in the hospital before we left, Hilde," said Sally.  
  
Hilde turned and glared at her. "Well, they didn't do a very good job because I still feel dirty." With that she turned around in the direction Sally had pointed and slammed the door of one of the two bathrooms. With her back resting on the door she slid to the floor. She covered her face with her hands and took deep steadying breaths.   
  
Hilde started thinking about what had taken place in the last few years of her life up to a few hours ago. First she is left an orphan by a war, that same war made her a child soldier. As a soldier she met a wonderful boy who made a little sense in all of that chaos the war had caused in her life. This same boy later asked her to move in with him. When the war ended they found they cared for each other and became something more than friends. Sure, everybody thought they were crazy because they were living together at sixteen, but she hadn't cared, and neither had Duo. When everything was finally looking up someone had decided to take it all away from her! Someone whom she didn't know, someone who didn't know her either.  
  
She's accused of trying to kill her best friend, and all of the people she thought were her friends turned their backs on her. The boy-- no the man-- she thought she could trust with her life didn't trust her in return. He'd looked upon her with contempt in a courtroom full of people who wanted her dead. He sat in the witness' stand damning her for something she didn't do, for something she would never be capable of doing.   
  
For the first few months after she arrived at the prison she'd thought that they were going to discover new evidence to free her. She used to cry each night hoping that when daylight came there would be news about her case. As more and more days passed the little flickering flame of hope she'd held in her heart began to blow out. Suddenly it wasn't just days that went by, it was weeks, months, and finally years. By the middle of her second year Hilde, more or less, knew she was going to end her days in the damp stinky prison. Her flame of hope had died and nothing could rekindle it. Then her hell began. What is even worse than being a secluded colony made precisely for cold-blooded killers for something you didn't do? Being raped by guards who thought you were bellow them! Guards who thought you were put on this 'earth' for their pleasure and nothing else.   
  
Through all of that there had only been one person who truly believed in her and that could comfort her. Moira. The only other female on the god-forsake prison. She was five years older than Hilde and when Hilde arrived she had been the there for four years. She had been just as young as Hilde when she arrived there. And there had only been one difference between then. One difference which Hilde learned to ignore after a few months. The difference between them was that Moira was guilty of committing horrible crime after horrible crime. She had killed, she had stolen... God what hadn't Moira done? She had done every dirty deed you could think of, and there she was comforting a lonely teenager who had nothing left in her life, not even hope.  
  
But that was all over, Moira had the infection, the damned infection that doctors knew nothing about, had killed her. Hilde had woken up to find herself alone in her cell one night. Hours later she had been called to the infirmary to say her last good-byes to her only true friend. Afterwards, Hilde had wanted to die. How was she going to survive without Moira's advice, without her help? 'Moira, in the short time I knew you, you were my only true friend? In the last few hours I don't know how many times I've wished that I hadn't been found innocent. The uncertainty of what I will face in this not-too-distant future is killing me, and I don't know how I will handle this,' she thought.   
  
Hilde stood up and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. She turned on the water and adjusted the temperature to her liking. It had been so long since a real shower. In the prison they were only allowed to take two showers a week because they needed to save water. The spray of hot water made her wince a little, she wasn't used to hot showers anymore, but it would feel so good to be clean again... if only in one way.   
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Heero, who had remained silent during Hilde'ss and Sally's little conversation, stared at Sally. "I don't think that went very well," he informed Sally.   
  
"You think?" she asked sarcastically. "She thinks we betrayed her--"  
  
"And didn't we? We all accused her of something she didn't do and we expect her to be nice to us just because we got her out of that prison? That's a stupid way to think!"  
  
"I know, Heero, and she's right. We aren't even thinking about what she wants to do. We made all of these decisions for her and we didn't consider how she would react to living with us. We didn't think about what she thinks of us!"   
  
"I think that she'll get over it. She's right in wanting nothing to do with us, but when she sees that we are keeping her safe she'll get over it. She has to," he added more to himself than to Sally.   
  
"I hope you're right. Or else we're going to have more problems in our hands than we can handle." Sally sighed and added, "Get some sleep. I'll keep watch over Hilde and then I'll go relieve Duo."  
  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Hours later they were in one of the spaceports of San Francisco, California. They would be staying in a secluded mansion near there belonging to Relena. Hilde had said pretty much nothing the rest of the way there. She had eaten a little, her organism once again getting used to receiving larger amounts of food than the ones she received in the colony. She had refused to talk to Duo more than it was necessary, Heero had said nothing to her, and Sally tried to talk to her but Hilde only answered yes or no when it was necessary. All in all, it had not been a very pleasant trip. A whole day in a shuttle where the tension could be cut with a knife.  
  
As they exited from the shuttle, Hilde turned once again to Sally and said, "I told you before that I don't want to stay with you people. I just need some money to stay in a hotel until I can find a job and I'll go on from there." there was an awkward pause before she said, "I'll pay you back when I can." She could not stay with them. These people had hurt her, they had betrayed her, turned their backs on her and now they expected her to live with them for an uncertain period of time? There was no way in hell she was going to do that.   
  
"Hilde, we just want to keep you safe. We all know you don't like us at the moment, but it's for your own safety," said Duo patiently. Now that she was back he wasn't going to stand back and let her go because he knew that if it was left up to her she would make sure she never saw any of them again.  
  
"Don't like you at the moment?" she asked incredulously. "At the moment I more than dislike you! I hate you, I despise all of you!"  
  
"Don't be rash, Hilde. You might regret your words later, and you're making a scene!" whispered Sally harshly.  
  
Hilde got the message but did not calm down. She whispered, "I will not regret my words. I mean them! I don't want to stay with any of you! And if you don't give me money I'll just live on the streets, it's not like I haven't done so before, and I doubt it is worse than spending five years in a prison with millions of men and only one other woman! Believe me, I know how to take care of myself."  
  
Heero's eyes narrowed. He'd had enough of her arguing. All he wanted to do was go home and see his girlfriend and Hilde was making it hard on all of them. He put his hand on her arm harshly and dragged her out while saying, "Listen, you can decide what to do when we get home. Until then would you please be quiet."  
  
"No, I will not be quiet! And don't touch me!" she yelled as she pried her arm from his strong grip.  
  
Duo chose that moment to speak again. He pleaded with his eyes while saying, "Please, Heero is right. When we get home you can decide what to do. Just go with us, everyone is waiting there."  
  
"This isn't some happy reunion, Duo. I don't care if you are all sorry about what happened. I will never forgive you, any of you.!"  
  
"Hilde, if you don't do what we tell you to then I will be forced to drug you, and believe me, I will not hesitate. I will drag you outside to the cars myself if need be," said Sally looking directly into her eyes. 'She grew taller,' Sally mused in her mind. 'Aside from being so thin and looking so tired she looks like a grown woman.'  
  
"Fine," Hilde growled as she flipped her long hair from her shoulder onto her back. It had grown so much during the last five years. It was the only good thing that had come out of that place she'd been in for so long. It was almost mid-back. All four of them walked out of the spaceport onto the parking lot.  
  
They rode on two different cars since Duo and Heero had arrived in one car and Sally had arrived in her own car. Duo and Heero rode in Heero's car while Sally and Hilde rode in Sally's car. In the passenger seat Hilde stared out the window at what she could see of the passing scenery in the darkness of night.  
  
"I bet it feels good to be back home and in your own clothes, huh?" asked Sally quickly glancing from Hilde back to the dark road.  
  
All Hilde wanted to do was ignore her, but since she'd asked a very direct question she had to answer. Without looking at her Hilde said, "These aren't my clothes, and I'm not going home."  
  
"I know, I just meant that... that you must feel good not to be in that horrible place anymore," said Sally quickly. She should have known better than to try to say something nice. She would never be the same person she was before this, Hilde had lost her sweet nature... they had destroyed it. They all felt extremely guilty over all of this and all they were trying to do was make it up to her, but she wasn't making it easy.  
  
The four people in the two cars rode in silence, but Duo's and Heero's was of a different nature. They both thought about their part in Hilde's 'sentence'.   
  
The two cars finally reached the mansion forty-five minutes later. Sally got out of the car and went to the back of the car for her bag of luggage, which consisted of only one bag. Hilde reluctantly got out of the car. When she had closed the door she looked up at the top floors of the lighted mansion. It was huge, like out of dream. "Too bad I won't enjoy my stay here," she whispered.   
  
"Hurry up Hilde!" called Sally from the front door. A butler opened the door and to Hilde it felt that the doors of hell were opening up to let her in. She closed her eyes for a second then walked to the door. The bright lights hurt her eyes. She had not been in a place this luxurious in quite a while. She didn't want to be here, but it still took her breath away.   
  
Quatre, Wufei, Trowa, Catherine, and Relena were waiting there. They all smiled when they saw them. Hilde looked from one face to another. Trowa didn't say anything he just looked at her, Quatre gave her a shy smile and looked at her with tenderness in his eyes. Catherine also looked at her with a small smile, they had never me. Relena was the worst of them all. She smiled at Hilde genuinely, with warmth and the look in her eyes was one of someone who had just seen her best friend after many years. Too bad Hilde couldn't return the sentiment. She didn't want anything to do with her even though she had not been directly involved with the trial. A part of Hilde couldn't help but blame her for what had happened, and another part of her knew that it hadn't been her fault. Relena had never wanted to be who she was.   
  
"Welcome home, Hilde," said Relena coming closer. She enveloped her in a warm hug, which Hilde didn't return. She just stood there with her arms at her sides just waiting for the moment when Relena would let go and she could escape to the room she knew she had prepared for her.   
  
Relena felt her friend's reaction to her happiness at seeing her. She had been so happy when she'd heard the cars outside and when she saw Hilde, that she thought it would be like old times. She'd thought that Hilde would still care about her, be her best friend again, but she'd been wrong. When she stepped away from Hilde she could see the coldness in her eyes... and the lack of the sparkle that used to be there. She'd lost her innocence and there was no way of getting it back or making it up to her. She hated them.  
  
"My room?" was all Hilde said to her. Oh God, she felt like crying! How she wished it could be like it used to. How she wished she could go back in time to prevent anything of this from happening. 'It's too late for that, they can't take away the pain they inflicted by turning their backs on me!' she thought as Relena led her to the room she had prepared for her.  
  
"Your room is on the same floor as ours; it's right next to Duo and you have Quatre on the other side. My room is across from yours," she said feigning cheerfulness.  
  
Hilde just muttered a "thank you" before she opened the door to her room and all but slammed it on Relena's face before she could say anything else. When she had closed the door she sighed again and gave free reign to the tears she'd wanted to shed downstairs. Her cool facade crumbled and she slumped to the floor on her knees as she walked to the bed. "Why did everything have to turn out like this? Oh God, you know that I can't ignore what they did! What they accused me of!" she whispered. When her tears stopped a few minutes later Hilde noticed the room she was in. It was very elegant with a four poster king-sized bed one side. Wide balcony doors on the opposite side, a bathroom across from the door. She walked around the room looking at the vanity, the TV, the stereo and in the closet. The closet was a walk in one and it contained clothes in her size, well the size she used to be. She didn't know what size she wore anymore since she had never been given new clothes at the prison. She had been allowed to take a few items of clothing with her, but that was it. She had chosen to take two pairs of jeans and two sweatshirts with her; that was the maximum she could take besides the items she had already been wearing. She walked back to where the stereo was.  
  
Beside the stereo was a CD holder and she noted that it contained much of the music Relena knew she used to listen to. She took a CD and put it in the stereo. She pressed the PLAY button and the opening music filled the room. Hilde listened to it and softly sang along when the words joined the music.  
  
As soon as Hilde had seen the cover on the case she had recognized it as the one that contained her favorite song. Listening to it brought memories rushing back to her. The first time she'd heard it was with Duo. They had been having a quiet dinner at home one night when the song came on. Hilde didn't know why she had like it so much but she just had. The radio had been tuned to an oldies station and the song came on. The next week Duo had surprised her with the CD...  
  
Her reverie was interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. At first she was a little startled as to why someone would knock at her door, but then she remembered where she was. She walked to the door and opened it enough so she could see outside. She saw Duo standing uncomfortably with his hand raised ready to knock again.   
  
When he saw her he didn't say anything. He just looked down at her pale face with his violet eyes for a few seconds before clearing his throat and saying, "Uh... dinner is ready. We are waiting for you to come down."  
  
Hilde considered eating in the dining room with everybody else for about half a second before she said, "I'm not hungry," and closed the door on Duo's face.  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Duo walked back down the stairs. He was hurt, Hilde hadn't said more than ten words to him since they'd arrived at the colony. He knew it was too much to hope for to have Hilde still love him, but the last thing he lost was hope. He didn't know how to apologize to her, he didn't know what he could do to make her forgive him. All he knew was that he still loved her, he'd never stopped loving her and that she had to forgive him. 'Please Hilde, you have to get pass this. I know you suffered, but you have to live your life now that you're not in prison anymore.'  
  
When he arrived in the dining room all eyes turned to him. "Hilde's not hungry," he said nervously. Nobody had wanted to go get her and he had volunteered to go. "I-- I think that I'll have a plate made for her and one for me and we'll eat upstairs."  
  
Duo went into the kitchen and had the cook prepare two plates of dinner. He came out with a platter filled with food and two bottles of water and some wine. He climbed the stairs and knocked on Hilde's door with his foot.   
  
Hilde opened the door a moment later and he said, "I thought we could eat up here. It will also give us a chance to talk."  
  
  
tbc...  
  
AN: Here's the next chapter. It's just as long as the first one. Please review! It means a lot to me! Thank you. 


	3. Default Chapter

AN and Disclaimer: I'm getting kinda tired of this same crap. You know 'Oh poor Hilde!' So I've decided to add a little action! I had a plan for this story but I changed it a little. The ending will still be like I planned though, but this is not the ending! Far from it I think! Sorry again for the gramatical errors!  
  
  
  
  
Hilde didn't say anything to Duo, she just looked at him. "I'm not hungry," she said again, but he wouldn't' take no for an answer. He really needed to talk to her; he needed to make her understand that he felt horrible for what he'd done, for what they'd all done.   
  
"You may not be hungry, but you're going to eat. You are too thin, you look anorexic for God's sake! You will eat even if I have to feed you myself," he said with intensity. He needed to talk to her and this way he could kill two birds with one stone. He pushed past Hilde who was blocking the door and he put the platter on the vanity across the room. He then took the two plates and motioned her to sit on the bed with him.   
  
Hilde reluctantly sat across the bed from him and took the plate of food he offered her along with a glass of water. She declined the wine. The food smelled delicious but she knew that she would be full after a few bites. Her system had gotten used to the small portions of food.  
  
"Eat," he said and began eating himself.  
  
With a heavy sigh she put the fork in her mouth, surprised at the taste of the food. It made her remember so many things. She hadn't had homemade food in years. They had fed her practically slops at the prison, and it had been very little slop too.   
  
"How do you like it?" asked Duo quietly.  
  
She took her time in answering then she finally said, "It's good."  
  
Duo finished his food in five minutes, by which time Hilde had taken only a few bites and little sips of water and she was done. She stood up and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. She felt his eyes on her, but she didn't turn around to face him. When she came out she saw that his empty plate had joined her half eaten one on the platter on the vanity.   
  
Duo didn't know how to start the conversation. He wanted to tell her so many things, but he knew that she would become defensive the minute he touched the subject he desperately wanted to talk about. So, he went for the next best thing: talking about her.  
"I like your hair. It's so long now," he said as he stood up and stepped in front of her.   
  
"It grew, hair does that with time," she said bitterly looking at the floor. Hilde knew that she could not avoid this, they would have had this conversation sooner or later. She had just wished it had been later, when she was ready for what was to come. 'After all of these years, after all that had happened I still care for him. It's not the same feeling it was before,it had dimmed a little, but I still care,' she thought as she looked at her feet. There was no way in hell that she could look at him, at his eyes. Those eyes that more often than not told you that everything was okay, that nothing could hurt you. Those eyes that had so mesmerized her all those years ago. 'Those same eyes that looked at you with loathing in a courtroom,' her mind reminded her. 'Those same eyes that looked at you with love one day and the next they accused you of something you didn't do! Those same eyes that held not trust for you!' With all of these thoughts running inside in her head, Hilde kept her gaze down.  
  
"Hilde," he said quietly, "look at me. Please, look at me. I want you to see how sorry I am for hurting you, for not trusting you," he said, his voice almost breaking.  
  
"No," she whispered. "I can't. I can't look at you, I don't think I can ever forgive you. There are too many memories in your eyes."  
  
"But don't tell me those memories are not happy ones. We had happy times together, babe."  
  
"Happy memories? Yes, but there were marred by all the unhappy ones that I have now. Not even during the war have I had so many unpleasant memories. And the happy ones just make me think of the unhappy ones, the ones that will never leave me."  
  
Duo's eyes started to water. His vision blurred and he tried to blink the tears back. "I am so sorry, Hilde. Please say you forgive me. I-- it felt horrible not knowing if I could trust you, babe. I felt that my world had come crashing down around me and there was no place to hide," Duo's voice finally broke as he confessed his feelings.  
  
Hilde shook her head and for the first time looked at him. Her own eyes wet with the silent tears she'd been shedding since he started talking. "I'm sorry Duo, but you couldn't have felt worse than I did. How do you think it feels to have your so called friends turn away from you at a time when you needed them the most? How do you think it feels to have no one trust you? To have everyone on earth and the colonies look at you like you are the scum of the Earth. Every time I looked at them I knew they were wishing my death. But you know what the worst thing was? The thing that hurt the most, Duo? When the one you love most in the universe doesn't believe you. When he doesn't give you a chance to defend yourself against something you didn't' do!"   
  
As he looked at her, he could see all the pain, all the suffering, and all the emotional wounds that had not healed. He needed another chance from her. He knew it was too much to ask for, but he needed her forgiveness; a chance to prove to her that he still loved her. "I still love you, Hilde. I admit that I thought the worse things of you for a long time, but then I realized that I still loved you. I--"  
  
"You 'want another chance'," she scoffed. "Tell me Duo, why should I give you a second chance when you didn't give me one? Why should I trust you, how can I trust your 'love' when the last time you said you loved me you turned around and called me a murderer? Tell me, Duo!" she shouted.  
  
"Hilde, you're acting hysterical now. Try to calm down,please," he soothed regretting his earlier outburst.  
  
"No, you calm down! You don't know what it was like for me in that place. You don't know what happened because if you did you wouldn't want anybody's apologies either!" she shouted at him. Too many years of bottled up emotions were surfacing. She had never really talked to Moira about how se felt and she had never thought she would get the chance to say this to the person that had hurt her the most.   
  
"I--"  
  
"You think it was nice being there? You think it was just like any other prison here on Earth or in the colonies? Believe me Duo, it if had been it like that it would be much easier to forgive you," she said.  
  
"No, Hilde. I know that it wasn't easy, and that you were hurt badly, but you have to move on."  
  
"But you don't know what happened! Do you know that it was so cold that your lips were blue all the time? That there wasn't enough food to go around? Did you know that there wasn't fresh water to drink half the time? But if you think that's bad, you don't know the half of it! There are worse things, Duo Maxwell."  
  
"No, Hilde I didn't know," he said sounding a little defeated. "But what do you want me to do? You want me to beg? As much as I love you, I will not get down on my knees and beg you!" He hadn't imagined this talk would turn out like this. He'd always know that trust had always been a big part of Hilde; he had known that she trusted him with her life five minutes after they met. She trusted him enough to risk her life for him, and years later how did he repay her? He repaid her by not trusting her! By not believing in her or staying by her side when she needed him the most. So, of course their talk would be like this. He never expected her to welcome him with open arms, but he'd expected to see some of her sweet nature still there, intact. But the fact was that her sweetness was gone, and he'd played a big part in killing it.  
  
Hilde ignored his anger and continued to tell him about the prison. "And do you want to know what was worse than all of that, Duo?" she asked him looking at his eyes with anger and pain.   
  
"Hilde..." he said exasperated.  
  
"Rape, Duo," she whispered lowering her head.  
  
Duo's face hardened into a mask of disbelief. 'Oh God no!' he thought. This was the last thing he had bee expecting. He knew that she had been mistreated, but not like that! "Rape?" 'No, no!"  
  
"Oh yes," she said wiping her tears with her hands. Sniffling and with her voice cracking she said, "And more than once."  
  
"Why? When? Who?" he asked angered. Nobody touched Hilde like that! Nobody!  
  
"Does it really matter anymore? Will it make a difference? I don't try to answer the questions anymore. I don't try to figure it why they did it; all I know now is that it's over and it will never happen again. I will never let anybody touch me!"  
  
"How can you say that? Rape is the most terrible thing that can ever happen to a woman and you take this better than you took our mistake?"  
  
"Your 'mistake', as you so delicately put it, caused this. And it's not that I take it lightly, it is just that I look at it and say 'What can I do to make it better?' and I tell myself that I can't go back and change the fact that I was raped, but what I can do is prevent you from putting me in a situation like that again!"  
  
"Just-- God, just... just tell me who it was?" he asked even more angry than before. He wanted to kill this guy! He wanted to rip him to shreds for touching her like that!  
  
"Why do you want to know? You can't do--"  
  
"Just tell me!" he ordered.  
  
Hilde took a deep breath before replying, "Guards, Duo... they were just guards."  
  
"Guards?" he whispered. "Why would they do that? They were there to protect you, not to hurt you!" he accused.  
  
"I don't know Duo! Why don't you ask them! Don't you think I asked myself that question when it happened? Don't you think I tried to stop them? I did, but what good did it do against three large men? It was just me against three large men! I couldn't hold them off for long. I tried to the first time, the second, but by the third time I knew that I couldn't stop them!"  
  
"Why didn't you tell anybody?" he asked angrily. He didn't want to believe that it had been so easy for them to rape her. He didn't want to believe that she couldn't have prevented it. 'Why did you let them do it?' he felt like asking, but he knew he couldn't because he knew that she would have prevented it if she could have.  
  
"I did, but they didn't care! To them you are less than an animal. If they had to choose between a dog and an inmate they would gladly choose the dog. They don't care what happens to the inmates. If one of them dies, then good, one less to take care of. And do you seriously think that they would care about someone like me, the one who was accused of trying to kill the person who brought them peace, the one person that keeps their peace from shattering?"  
  
Duo couldn't believe what he was hearing! They didn't care about any of them, they were less than animals. Duo didn't say anything for a long time. He just stood there looking at her eyes, her tears, and the way her lips quivered when she remembered the harsh treatment. Her tears had never seemed so real to him before. He'd seen her cry before, but these tears seemed to have much more emotion behind them. He realized that her tears were the tears she hadn't cried in all of those years she'd been in prison. All the years of loneliness, of pain, and years of thinking you were going to die in a horrible place and that nobody would care; that nobody would even remember you.  
  
He didn't think twice about what he did next. He simply moved closer to her and took her in his arms. He hugged her for the first time in five years and it was heaven. It was as if he had gone back in time and nothing bad had ever happened; nothing had ever taken her away from him. He didn't seem to notice how rigid she was or the fact that she didn't return the embrace.  
  
Hilde was surprised, to say the least. She'd hadn't this kind of physical contact with anybody, not even Moira; all she had done was put one arm around her. She didn't know what to do. Physical contact wasn't something she wanted right now; she didn't know when it would be okay for someone to touch her again. When she felt someone's arms, or hands on her she couldn't help but think of all those nights when...   
  
"Don't touch me, Duo," she whispered desperately. She started to tremble in his arms, but he was too caught up in his own emotions to notice how uncomfortable she was starting to get. "Duo, let me go!" she said a little louder but he still didn't release her. Hilde's heart started to beat twice as fast as normal, her breathing mimicked that of someone who had been running a marathon. She took deep breaths that didn't help. Her desperation overwhelmed her. She didn't know how to calm herself, the only thing she knew would calm her was if he let her go. Her self-preservation took over her body and her mind. She didn't register the loving arms that held her, all she could feel was arms that kept he captive. Arms that were tight around her and wouldn't let her move. She started struggling against the bonds. She closed her eyes and pushed hard against the chest that helped those arms keep her captive. She pushed and cried out for them to leave her alone, for them not to touch her. "Let me go, please, please let me go! Don't! Please don't touch me! Stop it! Don't touch me, please! Please!"  
  
When he heard the screams he immediately let her go, but she didn't stop screaming at the invisible guards to let her go. He tried to calm her down by gently telling her that she was okay, that nothing was wrong but her senses didn't perceive anything beyond the fact that she was being held against her will, even when she really wasn't.   
  
Hilde's yelling and screaming only got louder when he tried to hug her again. She started thrashing, and waving her arms wildly. Duo didn't do that again, he knew that wasn't the way to calm he down. He realized that the screaming would interrupt the dining people downstairs. When he heard the door open he knew he'd been right.   
  
The other seven occupants of the house rushed upstairs and into Hilde's bedroom to see her on the floor desperately trying to prevent invisible hands from touching her. She was holding herself and her arms were trying to prevent hands only she could see from touching her hair, her arms, and other body parts.  
  
Sally ran out of the room to get her medical kit. Five seconds later she came back in yelling out orders to the five men in the room.   
  
"Hold her down! No, all of you. People can be very strong when they are like this!" she yelled at them. When Hilde felt real hands attempting to touch her, she fought harder. She knew what would happen if these hands got the better of her, she knew they would do despicable things to her.   
  
"No, don't touch me! Please, please leave me alone! Please don't touch me!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.  
  
When they pinned her down Sally stood over her with a seringe, ready to inject the contents into her arm. Sally bend down on one knee and put the contents of it in Hilde's arm. A few seconds later after she did that Hilde's yells got quieter and slower. Her struggling got sluggish until she eventually fell into a drug-induced, fretful sleep.   
  
"Quatre, put her in the bed," she said. Looking directly into Duo's eyes she asked him, "What in the hell were you doing?"  
  
"Nothing, we were just talking--"  
  
"It must have been something, a very big something, to get her upset like this. What was it?" she asked, her eyes narrowing.  
  
"I... I just hugged her. That was it! I wasn't trying to get her to sleep with me if that's what you're all thinking!" he said angrily. He could tell they didn't' believe him. It bothered him that they didn't and for a brief second he knew exactly how Hilde had felt all those years ago. He knew how it felt to have everybody believe you to be something you're not. To have your friends think the worst of you. "I swear I didn't do anything to her. We were just talking and I hugged her, and all of a sudden she became hysterical and started yelling." he explained. "I didn't do anything," he added quietly. He felt he needed to assure them that he hadn't done anything wrong.  
  
"We believe you Duo, it's just that it surprised us that she would act like that," said the ever-silent Trowa.   
  
"She thought that I was one of the guards who..." he left the sentenced unfinished. He didn't know what to do, what to think about what Hilde had told him. Her earlier words had cut into him like a hot knife, but knowing that someone else had touched her put an anger so deep that he knew if he ever caught another man so much as touching her hair he would kill him. He knew that he still loved her, he'd known it for a long time, and it had hurt him to think that his girlfriend could try to kill their friend. But now he knew that nothing he'd ever experienced would ever hurt him as much as his disbelief had hurt Hilde.  
  
"One of the guards that what?" prompted Quatre. Ever since they'd arrived he'd sensed there was something terribly wrong with Hilde. He'd known all along that she had changed, five years in a place that made it clear that you were the scum of the universe didn't help you self-esteem, or your mental health. He'd sensed how Hilde had closed herself even more when she'd come into the mansion. Her face was turned into a mask of coldness that he had never seen. Her voice held no emotion, not even anger towards them, but he knew that she hated them all. She wasn't too happy to be in the house with them, and he also knew that Duo held himself responsible for what had happened. And now that they knew she had done nothing, he held himself partially responsible for making Hilde into the emotionless person she now was.  
  
Duo couldn't form the words. He was quiet for a long time. He didn't want them to know what he'd caused. He knew that it wasn't his fault entirely. He knew that they were all a little responsible but he carried the biggest weight. He knew that, secretly, his friends blamed him for bringing Hilde into their world.   
  
His silence began to make everyone uncomfortable, so Sally answered the question for him. "That raped her. Hilde was raped by three guards in the prison almost everyday for two years."  
  
Duo's head snapped up and his eyes turned sharply to Sally. A fire leaped into his eyes, but a second later it was extinguished by the tears that pooled in the violet depths. He closed his eyes to hide the tears from his friends, but they all noticed how much he wanted to cry. He'd been doing that a lot for the past couple of days. Not one of them blamed him for crying. First he loses his only link with love, then he testifies against her in a court, then he finds out she's innocent, and lastly she wants nothing to do with him. All the heartache and guilt were enough to make the strongest soldier cry. He managed to control himself enough to ask, "Why didn't you tell me, Sally?"  
  
She looked at him at a loss for words. "I didn't know how to tell you. I was going to, but I didn't know how you'd react."  
  
"We should let her rest," said Heero. "One of use should stay in here, though." He looked at Sally and said, "I take it you haven't told him about the nightmares, either?"  
  
"Nightmares? What kind of nightmares, and please don't leave anything out," said Duo putting his head in his hands. There were so shit going on that none of them had the mind to think about the organization that had tried to kill Relena.  
  
"I don't really know, all her medical records said was that she suffered from constant nightmares and that she got very violent and agitated. I didn't read anymore. It seemed that Hilde had been in the infirmary many times, but she had never been ill. The records they kept weren't very specific. All they the doctors and nurses did was write down what was wrong in a few words, not detail," explained Sally in her professional voice.  
  
"Well then, we'll just have to wait and see what happens," said Duo quietly.  
  
"I think Heero is right. We should leave Hilde to rest. She's had a hard... day, and she needs sleep and rest," added Relena. "Who will stay with her first? She needs to have someone near in case she has a nightmare."   
  
"I will--" said to Duo only to be cut off by Sally.  
  
"Quatre, you should stay. Duo... Duo needs to rest and he isn't fit to take care of her at the moment. He can come and relieve you after he's had a few hours of sleep."  
  
"Right," said Quatre. He hadn't really known Hilde, he'd only ever seen her a few times but he was willing to stay with her.  
  
"The rest of us should get some rest," said Wu Fei.  
  
The group walked out of the room, some of them with relief others with guilt at what was happening to an innocent woman.   
  
*~*~*~*  
  
"She didn't deserve this," whispered Relena to Heero in their room.   
  
"We know that, but what can we do about it now? We have to be realistic. When we all found out about this we felt guilty. All we can do is try to make her feel better, but you have to understand that she may never forgive us. Also we have to stop treating her like a porcelain doll. She has to get over this and our babying her won't help. So, please don't feel too bad about this. You have the less fault out of all of us. Even Quatre is guiltier than you. Even though we insisted, he still agreed to push the council to an early trial. They could have waited until you were out of that coma." He would be damned if he let her feel guilty. It wasn't her fault, she had never accused Hilde of anything.  
  
"But I didn't do anything to help her, Heero!"  
  
"At my demand, Relena! You were willing to ask the council to lightened her sentence when you weren't sure of what happened." Heero sighed and said to her, "Let's not talk about this anymore, it upsets both of us--"  
  
"How do you feel about this? You almost killed her! You are the only one who hasn't voiced his opinion or his feelings in anyway!"  
  
"It doesn't matter what I feel. The only thing that matters is that we have to stop feeling sorry for Hilde so she can start to lead a normal life!"  
  
*~*~*~*  
  
(two weeks later)  
  
Hilde had been living with her 'friends' for two weeks now. She sat in the couch her psychiatrist had provided for her and waited for her to start their session. She didn't see the point of her coming here. There was nothing wrong with her, she wasn't crazy. All she wanted was to be left alone, to never have to see the people who made her life a living hell! Was that so wrong?  
  
Dr. Escalante arrived and sat down across from Hilde. "You know Hilde, you can lie down if you want. That's what the couch is for," Dr. Escalante said as if to a child.  
  
"That's okay, then I'd start to believe I'm really crazy," she said simply.  
  
The doctor smiled and said, "Okay then, let's start."  
  
Outside the office Relena and Sally sat by one another each reading a magazine. Hilde had started her visits to the doctor a week ago and they were the ones who usually accompanied her. This was her fourth visit and so far they hadn't seen any progress, but the doctor said it took time.   
  
"Our main priority is to get Hilde to cope with what happened to her in prison. From there, we will work our way back to the attempted murder," Dr. Escalada had said during a meeting with Lady Une, Heero, Duo and Sally. She had also prohibited Duo from going with Hilde to her appointments. She said it 'made Hilde upset and it prevented her from concentrating on what they had to talk about'.  
  
Two hours later Hilde, Sally, and Relena drove home. It was silent except for the occasional comment from Sally or Relena. They didn't' bother to talk to Hilde anymore because they knew that they would get no response at all. The twenty minute ride always seemed to last longer. The silence was something neither Sally or Relena enjoyed. Hilde seemed to enjoy it or, if anything, she seemed to be in her own world.  
  
When they arrived home Hilde was the first one in the house and without a word to anybody, she'd rush to her room. She spent all of her time there. She didn't join them for dinner or in any activity they planned for the day. All she did was sit in her room and listen to the music Relena had provided for her. She took her meals in her room and would never, no matter who tried to persuade her, join them; even Wu Fei had been sent to try to talk to her.   
  
There was one thing that all of them had noticed though, Hilde took midnight walks by herself every night. She couldn't sleep more often than not, so she took walks in the gardens. They had found out because the guards had seen her the first time and had woken them up thinking she was trying to run away.   
  
To that Hilde had replied, "If I were to run away, where would I go? Any place I went the Preventers would find me. And I don't have any money.'  
  
They all sat at the table ready to eat dinner. Since Hilde had come to the house they were all unusually uncomfortable when they were together, and they were all engrossed in their own thoughts. They didn't talk as much as they used to.   
  
When they began eating a loud explosion errupted from upstairs.   
  
The only thing on Duo's mind as he ran up the stairs was: "Hilde!"  
  
  
AN: Well, that's it for now! Oh, it takes a long time to make these chapters ten pages long each. And I have absolutely no time to write! I take every free opportunity at home and at school but I can't finish these chapters in two days like I would like. Please be nice and review. Every nice review I get motivates me to write! 


	4. Default Chapter

AN: Okay I have a few warnings. First, OOCness, and lots of it. In every character! Second (and last) this may be the last chapter. It is not exactly ten pages long but along the lines: eight pages. Be a responsible reader and ead and review. Please email me with any advise, no flames! On with the story...  
  
  
  
Hilde had just finished her shower. She got out of the bathroom and was toweling her long hair. Before she'd gotten into the shower Hilde'd had the stereo on full blast. Listening to it was her only activity. She didn't want to spend time with the eight other people in the house for fear of... for fear of something. It was mostly fear of getting hurt again. As it was they didn't think she was to sane, she didn't want them or anything they did to trigger her attacks of hysteria. She had not had one since that day Duo had hugged her, and she didn't want to risk it. As she finished drying her hair she changed into her pajamas.  
  
She sat in her chair in front of her vanity brushing her hair and singing the along with the lyrics of the song.   
  
It's not that ci can't live without you  
It's just that I don't even want to try  
Every night I dream about you  
Ever since the day we said goodbye  
If I wasn't such a fool  
Right now I'd be holding you  
There's nothing' that I wouldn't do  
Baby if I only knew  
  
Hilde continued brushing her dark raven locks now just singing the lyrics by memory more than for enjoyment. 'You have a beautiful voice,' she remembered Duo saying when they'd first met. They had been driving home from the grocery store and the radio was on very low. When the song came on she sang along also. It wasn't the same song, she actually couldn't remember it, but she'd sung along to it also.  
  
The words to say  
The road to take  
To find a way back to your heart  
What can I do  
To get to you  
And find a way back to your heart  
  
As soon as she'd sung the last words there was a loud sound by her window. The floor shook underneath her feet. The vanity mirror shattered and the large glass doors leading to the balcony broke. Hilde quickly got to the floor and covered as much of her upper body as she could with her arms. She didn't open her eyes, but she knew there was a fire, she could smell the smoke. The room began to heat up and her she started coughing because of the smoke in the room.  
  
In the dining room Duo shot out of his chair and raced up the stairs taking them two at a time. His only thoughts were of Hilde. He was sure the explosion had been in her room, and he was sure it had been an explosion. He could smell the smoke. He stumbled a few times for running, but when he reached the floor she was on he felt a relief. He ran down the hall to her room and turned the knob, giving thanks that it was not locked.  
  
When he stepped into the room his eyes began to sting from the smoke. The room was blazing hot and he couldn't see anything. He got down on all fours and advanced into the room calling out Hilde's name.  
  
Downstairs the others were almost in a state of panic. Nobody knew what the hell was going on! Heero took charge of the situation and began barking orders to get Relena, Catherine, and the servants safely out. Another explosion shook the house, this time in another part of the mansion. When he saw only Quatre and Trowa moving he yelled, "Sally Wu Fei, hurry your asses up!"  
  
"We can't leave Duo and Hilde! The first explosion was in her room, and Duo went after her!" yelled Wu Fei angrily.   
  
"Then go and get them! You know where to meet us!" yelled Heero as he took Relena's arm and ushered her to a safe location.  
  
Hilde was already unconscious. She had breathed in too much smoke and had passed out in almost seconds.   
  
Duo couldn't find her and he was beginning to loose consciousness also. He couldn't find Hilde anywhere on the floor and she didn't answer his calls. His senses swam, he felt lightheaded and he coughed. He heard the pounding of feet near and he knew it was his friends. He looked around the bed and he found Hilde. He quickly took her in his arms and began to drag her out of the room with the strength he had left. He felt someone take Hilde from him and somebody else stand him up and put his arm around his or her shoulder. He dragged his feet down the long staircase and out the kitchen door. He breathed in the life-giving oxygen deeply.  
  
Wuf Fei place Hilde in the back seat of the care and Sally ushered Duo inside. They had to move fast if they did not want to be caught by the attackers. They could hear smaller explosions from the house. They drove in silence through a back road that you would never find if you didn't know what you were looking for. The cabin they knew the others would be in was still on the estate, but it was hidden by trees; hard to find. When they arrived at the cabin a few minutes later Wu Fei looked to where the mansion was to see smoke coming from the general direction and to hear fire sirens. He then opened the door to the back seat and proceeded to take Hilde from Duo's arms. She was still unconscious, and he hoped she would be okay.   
  
"Sally, get medical supplies, she's not looking too well," he said as Sally helped Duo from the car. She grunted her answer and walked Duo into the cabin.  
  
As soon as they walked into the cabin Heero bombarded them with questions. "Did you see anybody, did anybody see you? Were you followed?"   
  
Wu Fei answered for all of them. "No, we weren't followed, and we didn't see anybody. But bombs were still going off when we got them out." He placed Hilde on the couch.  
  
"How is she?" asked Heero for the first time noticing that Hilde wasn't standing up.  
  
"She's breathed in a lot of carbon dioxide, she needs oxygen. Wu Fei, please bring me the oxygen in the car," she asked her husband.  
  
"You have oxygen in your car?" asked Catherine.  
  
"I'm a doctor and a preventer, I have to be prepared."  
Sally put the mask on Hilde's face and checked the rest of her body. "Aside from the minor burns I think she'll be okay," she said standing up.  
  
Duo hadn't said anything. How could he have failed to get her out of the house. He had been the first one in the room and he couldn't get her out. Sally'd had to help him get out of there!  
  
Sally saw the look on Duo's face and said reassuringly, "Don't feel bad, Duo. You got to her as quickly as you could and she isn't hurt badly."  
  
'Sally always seems to read our minds,' Heero mused.  
  
"Duo, keep your mind clear. We have to find out how they got passed security." How had then gotten passed his security system? How? Who? and most importantly, why?' Heero's soldier mind connected the bombing to the letter left in Duo's apartment. he doubted that there had been anybody at the mansion. the bombs had probably been timed and placed on different sides of the house. 'But how did they know it was Hilde's room?' That much he did know. It was no accident that the first bomb was place there. He tried to recall if any strangers had come to the mansion at any time during the last three weeks. Before and after Hilde had arrived. No, there had been no one, absolutely no one. Except for Relena's brother there had been no one.  
  
He was baffled. They all were. No one could recall anybody coming to the house.  
  
Hilde opened her eyes slowly. They stung an she felt tears forming in their depths. Whe she inhaled her lungs felt weird. Like when you have a bad cough and you can breath but it is kind of restricted, you are short of breath but not really. She took deep breaths but it was uncomfortable even with the oxygen mask providing her more oxygen than normal.  
  
"She's waking up," said Relena as she noticed Hilde moving.  
  
Hilde felt groggy. She looked up at the ceiling and for the first time noticed she wasn't in Relena's mansion. Before she could say anything, however, there was a loud noise coming from the general direction of the door. They all looked up to see the door knocked from its hinges and in seconds they were surrounded by at least fifty men all dressed in the same black outfit.  
  
There wasn't any mark on their uniforms to distinguish one from another and they all wore black ski masks. The black clad men seemed somehow familiar to Hilde. She had seen them somewhere, some time. The mist of a memory flowing like fog at the edges of her memory. It was too fuzzy, she couldn't see anything. Trying to recall the fragment of memory as like trying to remember an elusive dream you know you've had right when you wake up. It didn't seem like she was trying to remember. She couldn't really say she remembered, it just made sense to tell herself that she remembered.  
  
They five pilots readied their guns. The explosions hadn't given them enough time to get more weapons except for the ones they always carried with them. Relena might be a pacifist, but they certainly were not. They looked at the men that surrounded them and the large machine guns they all carried, each thinking he had been in worse situations during the war.   
  
Heero stepped in front of Relena. They had to protect her above all else. They would have to get through him and every one of his friends, including Catherine... and Hilde.   
  
"Stand up against the far wall. All of you!" A large man. There was no way to differentiate, they all looked the same. When they all hesitated, especially Heero, he added loudly, "Now or I'll start by shooting the girls! And give me your weapons. I know how sneaky you 'Gundam pilots' can be."  
  
The guys didn't want to hand over their weapons. Heero looked at his friends and without any movement or word they all started shooting. Heero tackled Relena to the floor and emptied his gun of bullets. He shook his head. It was up to Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Wu Fei, and Sally. His top priority was Relena. He wouldn't let anybody hurt her, even if it cost him his life.   
  
Hilde knew the boys would be impulsive. She just knew it and when she'd heard the first few gun shots she'd flung herself to the floor. She was behind the couch and the men were on the other side. Beside her was Sally, her own gun in her hand, waiting for an opportunity to help. After a few more minutes of gun shots Hilde knew her 'side' was out of ammo. The guys' faces were not of defeat but of determination.   
  
"Drop your weapons!" said the same man who'd spoken before. "We know you have nothing more to fight back with! Now move to the wall."  
  
They all complied, reluctantly. When they were all against the wall the black-clad men moved to let another, much smaller, figure pass. It was a girl, it was evident by the way her black clothes fit her.   
  
She moved to stand before them with no weapon gracing her hands. She lifted one of her slim hands to lift up the black ski mask from her face. A pointed chin was revealed, then a small equally pointed nose, crystal blue eyes, and finally eyebrows in the shape of a fork. She smiled at them all and said, "Well, hello everyone. You do remember me don't you? After all, I was your friend at one point or another."  
  
"Dorothy!" exclaimed Relena moving forward.   
  
Heero took her arm and pulled her back. "You--"  
  
"Now Mr. Yuy, you don't want to move unless you want us to shoot your little friends," she said with a sick smile.  
"Why are you doing this?" asked Quatre. No, Dorothy couldn't be doing this. She couldn't be the one behind all of this! No!  
  
"Why? Well, is there a reason to do anything? Why does Relena keep up her little peace talks with the colonies and the people of earth? Why is Heero Yuy still here with you guys? Why is Trowa so silent? Why is Duo Maxwell feeling sorry for himself every minute of every day? See, Quatre? So many questions and no answers to any of them!" she explained. She didn't need a reason to do anything. All she did was because she felt it needed to be done. It needed to be done to teach the world not to take anything for granted.   
  
"Dorothy... you... it was you who sent those pictures...?" said Relena confused. She took a couple of steps back. She'd considered Dorothy her friend at one point or another, why was she doing this?  
  
"Oh yes! I must tell you guys it was so fun watching you turn your backs on Hilde for something she didn't do. But all you guys did was put her in a jail and not look for reasons. You didn't look for all the clues we left you!" she said and put a pout on her lips.  
  
"You bitch! You helped them take five years of my life! It was you who made Duo turn against me! I'm going to kill you!" she said and threw herself at her.   
  
"Hilde!" she heard Duo yell after her but she didn't care. She knew that killing Dorothy wasn't going to get her anything but she would feel extreme satisfaction at watching her suffer.  
  
She didn't get too far because strong arms pulled her roughly from her feet and away from the smiling psycho. An arm with a black sleeve was put around her neck and cut off her air supply. Her vision started to swim and she was still until Dorothy's order gave her back her ability to breath. She took deep breaths and struggled to get away from the arms. She knew now why the men looked so familiar. They were the same men that had attack her and Relena. The same men...  
  
Duo was held back by Trowa and Quatre. If one of them was going to die then it would be because of something worth it, not something trivial. They five boys were itching to kick some ass. There had to be a way to get them. There had to be a way to distract them! They saw their chance when Dorothy turned her head a little to bark an order to one of her men. Heero brought Relena forward a little and left her to tackle Dorothy.   
  
Then the chaos started. The pilots then noticed that not all of the men had weapons and they went for those. They punched and stunned them.   
  
Sally shot some of them men. She had to spare her ammo, she was the only one with a gun and she had to be careful not to shoot her friends. Also, she only disabled the men in black. She didn't want to cause any unnecessary deaths.  
Dorothy's plan was backfiring. She never saw this coming. They were not acting according to what she'd planned. They were going into battle feet first! She took a gun from one of the men nearest her and took careful aim at Relena, she then fired three shots at places that would not just harm her, but kill her.  
  
Hilde had been let loose by her captor who had joined the big brawl that had broken out. She looked around desperately for something... anything that would mean anything. She didn't know what to do. She just wanted to find a way to escape all of this violence. When she glanced at the door she saw Dorothy take a gun from a man. She noticed the insane look in her eyes and the way she looked at Relena. Hilde ran towards them when she saw her take aim. She knew that she was too far away from Dorothy to reach her before she fired. The only thing she could do was try to get Relena before the any of those bullets reached her. She felt, rather than heard, the three bullets strike the air. No... they hadn't struck the air. She'd felt them pierce her soft skin. Felt the three embed themselves into her shoulder, her chest and her stomach.   
  
Hilde and Relena hit the floor with a thud. Relena felt herself being crushed by Hilde. There was something warm on her stomach and for a second she was afraid she'd been shot, but there was no pain. Only the hot sensation on her stomach. No, she'd seen stars when she'd hit the floor but she hadn't been shot. It had been Hilde. Hilde had pushed her away before Dorothy could kill her.  
  
Heero's sharp ears picked up the sound of the gun being fired. He quickly punched a man that stepped in his field of vision and ran to where Relena was. All he saw was Relena on the ground. He didn't care about anything else. He reached them first and carelessly pushed Hilde away from Relena. All he saw was the blood. 'Just like last time....' was the only thought that entered his mind. 'No...'  
  
Duo and Trowa knocked out the last four men that were standing. Duo looked for Hilde but he couldn't find her. He spotted Heero kneeling on the floor with Relena cradled in his arms. There was blood all over her front... he moved his eyes and he finally spotted Hilde. She was on the floor on her side and there was blood on her hands. He ran.  
  
Heero felt helpless. He didn't hear Relena calling his name telling him she was okay and to please check Hilde. All he saw was the blood. The thing that brought him back from his trance was Duo's scream.  
  
"No! No, Hilde. Hilde wake up," said to her. He gently slapped her cheeks, he shook her, he brushed her face with his hands but she wouldn't wake up. "Please," he begged her. "Don't leave me now that I got you back. Wake up!"  
  
"Duo," whispered Heero.   
  
Hilde was floating on a cloud of pain. She couldn't escape it so she opened her eyes. "Duo," she said weakly before she coughed. It racked her small frame and blood came out of her mouth. The pain brought her back to an unresolved event in her life. She'd never gotten to ask Duo to believe her so she pleaded him now. "I-- I didn't do it. Believe-- believe me."  
  
"I know, babe. I believe you, but please don't close your eyes again. We're going to take you to a hospital--"  
  
"It hurts, Duo." She was crying now. The tears on her cheeks mixed with the blood. Her breaths were coming in short little gasps due to the bullet in her chest, it had ruptured one of her lungs. "I can-- I... can't breath and it hurts..."  
  
"Shh... Catherine is calling the ambulance and Trowa and Quatre are tying Dorothy up. Don't worry about anything, just be quiet and please don't close your eyes... okay?" His tears slowly mingled with the ones on her cheeks.   
  
"It hurts... and I'm so sleepy."  
  
Sally had been slowly examining her. The wounds were deep and were, she was sure, lethal. The bullets had not connected with their targets but, nonetheless, one of them had hit a major artery, the other had probably pierced her lung, and even if the last one hadn't done much damage the first two would surely kill her. She looked up at Duo with sadness in her eyes. She looked down a little and shook her head at him saying, without words, that there was nothing else to be done.   
  
That only made him sob harder. "Hilde? Can you hear me baby?" he asked her.  
  
"Yea-- yes."  
  
"I wanted to tell you that I love you, that I never stopped loving you. No matter how much I thought I hated you I loved you with all my heart. Do you believe me?"  
  
She nodded her head slowly. It hurt to talk and it hurt to breath but she said, "Me too... I lo-- I love you. I never... ever hated you." She coughed again, more of her blood coming out of her mouth and her nose.  
  
"Oh God!" sobbed Relena in Heero's arms. She looked up at him with pleading eyes, as if asking him to do something for them; for their friends. Heero wasn't looking at her, though. He was watching his best friend hold Hilde in his arms and telling her he loved her; making sure she knew just how much he loved her despite everything else.   
  
He looked down at his girlfriend and their eyes held one another. Relena saw something she'd never seen in his eyes before. Heero Yuy was crying for his best friend. She hugged him tighter as they cried.   
  
"Oh God, Hilde! Watch You'll be okay, and then we can be together and make up for lost time. Just don't close your eyes. Please," he sobbed. He couldn't lose her now that he knew she still loved him. He wiped the blood from her face and held her hand tightly in his. "See, Hilde? I'm right here with you, holding your hand." Where was the ambulance? Where the hell was it?  
  
"Duo...?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Her eyes were beginning to grow heavy. "Duo... I can't feel anything... anymore. I want to sleep, Duo. Let me sleep." And with those last words Hilde's eyes closed and her breathing stopped.  
  
"No, no! NO! Hilde wake up!"   
  
Outside the cabin the ambulances and police cars could be heard.   
  
  
AN: Oh this chapter was sooooo difficult! I can't believe my own story made me cry so many times! That was my first action scene and it sucked! I can only right fluff! Anyway I could leave the story here... but I don't think a lot of you would like that. If I get good reviews then I'll continue it, and if I have time before Christmas. Please read and review 


	5. Default Chapter

AN: It was kinda hard writing this chapter while listening to Linkin Park, but I did it! There's a kinda religious feel to this chapter because I was raised Catholic and it's really hard for it not to come out naturally, but it's not too bad. There's only a slight mention of faith and hope. Warnings you ask? Well, let's see... there's sap and fluff and OOC. There! Don't say I didn't warn you! Oh, there's also back grammar! I haven't gotten around to fixing that. I doubt I will because I have tons to do!  
  
"No! Oh God, please..." Duo begged as he held the limp Hilde in his arms. He didn't hear the rush of feet on the wooden floor nor did he hear the words that told him to move away so they could treat the patient. He didn't register anything until strong arms pulled him away from Hilde and to his feet. He was shaking. He saw the paramedics work on Hilde.   
  
"Her heart's still beating, weakly though," one said.   
"Give her mouth to mouth," said another.   
  
The first paramedic complied. He closed up her nostrils with one hand and used the other to hold up her chin. He took a deep breath and put his open mouth on Hilde's. Once, twice, three times and nothing happened.   
  
"We're losing her," said the second paramedic. His partner tried once again and, miraculously, Hilde coughed a little, but she didn't wake up. "We got her breathing, put her in the stretcher and get the oxygen ready, it seems the bullet went through to her lung. The one in the shoulder may have hit a major artery, and the third may have punctured a kidney. She'll need a blood transfusion." All this information was said in front of Duo while they got Hilde ready to go to the hospital.   
  
Duo was still crying. Somebody was hugging him, he didn't know who but somebody had his or her arms around him. "Sally?" he called.  
  
She walked up to him nervously and asked, "Yes?"   
  
"Go with her please." There was a slight pause before he added, "I trust you."  
  
She nodded and said, "I'll go in the ambulance, you follow in one of the cars." Duo only nodded.   
  
Sally informed the paramedics that she was Hilde's doctor and that she would be accompanying them to the hospital. Then they were on their way.  
  
It only took twenty minutes for them to reach the nearest hospital, but in that short amount of time Hilde had flat-lined twice; not a good sign.  
  
They reached the hospital and they immediately set about getting her blood tested. They needed to know the blood type for the transfusion.   
  
"AB negative, hard to come by," said Sally to the other doctors. They needed the blood before they could start the surgery on Hilde. Sally went outside hoping the others had arrived. To her relief they had and she told them the news. "AB negative is hard to come by, do any of you...?" her question went unfinished as Heero interrupted her to say, "Yes. I'll donate... as much as it takes."  
  
"Thanks, but you can only donate so much. Any of you...?" they all shook their heads. She sighed heavily and led Heero to where Hilde waited.  
  
Duo put his face in his hands. He'd failed her, for the third time he'd failed her. He hoped the old saying wasn't true. He hoped the third time wasn't a charm. First she almost gets killed because of her desire to help him get information, then he and his friends get her sent to jail... and this time? This time he couldn't even help her because he didn't have the same blood type. He felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Relena's gentle countenance.   
  
"She'll be okay. Just pray, Duo. You've always had faith, don't lose it now." She embraced him. She wished she wasn't crying. She wished that she could give him strength by not crying in front of him.  
  
  
Six hours later, Duo, Heero, who had come back about five hours before, Relena, Catherine, Trowa, Wu Fei, and Quatre waited for Sally to bring them news of Hilde. They all stood up as she came out of the OR. She looked tired. Duo walked to her, but didn't say anything, he just looked down at her with hopeful eyes. Sally shook her head and said monotonously, "It's up to her now. The bullet penetrated her lung beyond repair, it had to be removed. She was given a blood transfusion for the artery and, thankfully, the third bullet didn't touch her kidneys, but she's fallen into a coma. She's on life support. It's up to her, on her will to live."  
  
"Can I see her?" asked Duo.  
  
"Just for a minute, and only you."  
  
Duo nodded and let himself be led to the intensive care unit, to her room. He never thought he'd live to see her like that again. Once in a lifetime was enough. She had tubes in every orifice of her face. He saw the large tube in her mouth that kept her remaining lung from collapsing. She was a pale, bright yellow color. The only sounds in the room were the beeps of the various monitors and the respirator keeping her alive. He reached for her hand. She seemed so fragile, like a porcelain doll.   
  
Sally slipped out of the room to give them some privacy. She sincerely hoped Hilde wanted to live. That was the only way she would come out of this.  
  
Inside the room Duo talked quietly to Hilde and held her hand in both of his.   
  
"Baby, I love you so, so much. Please don't leave me! You can't leave me alone. I swear I will never, ever, doubt you if you just wake up. You'll never have to see me again if you don't want to, but please don't di-- don't go." He couldn't say the word. He couldn't because if he did, she might hear. She might not want to come back, then it would be all too real. He continued to cry. Seeing her like this, with the possibility that she might die, ripped him apart. It tore him up inside. He'd thought he'd lost her forever once, and it had hurt, but thinking of her dying made that pain seen ten thousand times greater. It was even worse than the once he'd experienced on Peacemillion. Back then, he hadn't really known how much he really love her.   
  
Duo bent his head and prayed. He hadn't prayed in years, but his faith took over. "Dear God, please don't take her. I know we mortals only turn to You when we want something, but I've never asked you for anything. If you do this for me, I promise I will not ask for anything more. I know You can't be bribed, but please; this is coming from my heart... please. You know better than anyone how much I've suffered for her, how much I love her."  
  
Sally came back into the room and reminded him that he'd only been allowed to be in the room for a few minutes. He kissed Hilde's hand and stood up from his kneeling position. "Sorry for asking you to leave, but the others want to see her too," she said.  
  
"It's okay."  
  
"Let's get you a cup of tea to calm your nerves, okay? We don't want you to break down." Duo only wiped his eyes and nodded.  
  
Neither of them saw Heero enter Hilde's room.  
  
Heero approached the small figure on the bed. She looked... fragile. It was the only word he could think of. He walked closer and wondered if she would hear him talk. He decided that she could since he wasn't religious and couldn't speak to God.   
  
He struggled for the right words, but who knew what to say to a comatose person? He decided to just be simple and just say what came into his head first. He awkwardly started by saying, "I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm gonna tell you this anyway. Don't die. He, Duo, needs you. You didn't see him when you... 'left' but he was wreck. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep, he drank every minute of the day. He... he was messed up for a long time. He blamed himself for what we believed you did. But I knew he loved you. You know why? Because he never approached a woman. Never. Your memory kept him from other women. It wasn't that he didn't trust them, it was that he loved you so much that he couldn't be with anyone else. So, if you can hear me, then don't die. Duo needs you. And I... I need to... to apologize. I need you to open your eyes and tell you that I'm sorry for believing the very worse of you. I-- I love Relena, but that doesn't excuse my behavior. When you first came back, I wanted you to just simply disappear. For you to-- I don't know! I just wanted to forget about the way I treated you, but I couldn't. And if you wake up, then I will tell you what I've just told you to your face."  
  
With that, the 'perfect soldier' left the room He never noticed the movement of Hilde's fingers against the sheets of her bed.   
  
"Where did you go off to?" asked Heero when she saw him return to the waiting area.   
  
"I went to the bathroom," he said evenly.  
  
"Liar," she said affectionately. He didn't respond to that.   
  
They all sat in the waiting area for almost twenty four hours. Trowa, Qatre, Catherine and Wu Fei had gone home at the insistence of the others. There was no sense in all of them getting exhausted. Heero was about to ask Relena if she wanted to go home when an exhausted looking Sally came towards them. Her face didn't give away anything.   
  
"Sall--"  
  
"She woke up," she interrupted. "The worst part is over. She's stable, but she will be in intensive care for a while... she'll live."  
  
Duo hugged her. "Thank you, thank you!"  
  
"No need to thank me, it was all her," she said laughing as Duo picked her up and spun her around. "Duo, put me down! She wants to see you!"  
  
Duo put her down quickly and ran down the halls. He reached her room in record time.   
  
She was laying in the bed, but most of the tubes had been removed. The only things she still had were the wires and things that kept the monitors hooked up to her. He walked closer and saw her face. She gave him a tired smile, which he returned.   
  
She licked her dry lips and softly said, "Hi."  
  
"Hi. How ya feelin'?"   
  
"Tired. All the medications..."  
  
"I know. But you're going to live. That's what's important."  
  
There was a long pause before she said, "I heard you asking God to let me live."  
  
"He listened," he said. His eyes began to tear again. He was so happy and not at all ashamed to have her see him cry. After all, it was her doing. He was happy.  
  
"I love you, Duo," Hilde said her own eyes filling up with tears.  
  
"I love you too. Hilde, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I hurt you so badly. I--" he was crying now.  
  
"Shh... It's okay. Duo, God has given me-- us-- another chance. Let's not screw it up by bringing up the past. Let's leave it where it belongs and move on. We won't start over, but we will pick our lives up from here."  
  
She held her arms out to him. She welcomed him. She loved him, and they would be happy this time. "I won't let anything come between us again," he promised.   
  
"I know..."  
  
  
  
  
The End~  
  
  
  
  
  
AN: Did you like it? Did it make you cry? It made me cry!(answer that in your reviews) I know there is a lot of 'God' in this chapter, but it just comes instinctively to me! Anyway, please review! It was a sappy ending, but it's what I do best! It wasn't so hard to write the emotions down. I've felt a lot of that lately. My uncle was in a coma after an accident in Sep. and now my cousin has leukemia. My family doesn't seem to catch any breaks lately. Be nice and review! 


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